First day back to the gym since at least September 2024. Went by myself, as my training partner and friend had to back out at the last minute due to illness. This works out because mentally, being at the gym by myself right now isn’t all bad. Let’s recap how we got to this particular point.
2024 – Full of highs and lows. Year end was a pretty low low. Some realizations start to happen. First, frozen shoulder needs to be unfrozen. This puts a hiatus on an already unimpressive gym schedule due to the shoulder. Additionally just adds one more challenge to a year full of challenges. Holiday season is just a giant mental shitshow. During the fall, drinking picks up. The seasonal changes mean back to wearing pants and hoodies and actual shoes (boo!). Pants don’t fit like they did last year. Diet has gone to shit and I’m clearly spending entirely too much money eating out and enjoying the modern conveniences of DoorDash (Freddie’s has a damn good smashburger, if you’re interested). Exercise is nonexistent, except for PT on the shoulder. Late December includes some conversations about going back to the gym now that the shoulder is doing better (not 100%, but better).
New year, new me? Nah. New years resolutions? Nah. Its just time. Reminds me of the scene in The Fighter where Marky Mark’s character gets out of bed one day to head to the gym long after injuring his hand defending his crackhead brother. Its the end of the first full week of the year. This time last week, I was thinking it was time to make some changes. I clearly need to quit eating like a 12 year old boy and get my ass moving again. One goal for the week – eat cleaner and no ordering out for delivery. Another goal – time to start walking every day again. This time last year, I was walking at the mall every day and seeing some decent results from that. Also, its probably time to start food logging again. When I hold myself accountable for what I’m eating, I tend to be more mindful of what I should or shouldn’t be doing.
Accountability. Its one thing to talk about it. Its a whole different thing to practice it. Reminds me of a John Cena promo – there are those that talk about it and those who be about it. They say abs are made in the kitchen. They also say you cant exercise away a bad diet. I seem to get better results in weight loss when I’m honestly documenting what I eat and drink.
Why does it take so much time? I don’t think we really notice how much time tasks take when they are things we’re motivated to do. Tasks are much harder when we’re tired, when we have no energy, when we have no motivation, when we’re overwhelmed. That’s where discipline starts. For the last few months (and maybe close to the last year), I haven’t had any. And to be fair, with regards to taking care of my health, I don’t know that I’ve ever been consistent about being disciplined enough.
Thought all day about what I wanted to do at the gym. Was at least going to walk for a half hour. Walking on a treadmill sucks, but that’s what I agreed to. I discovered earlier this week (and have discovered previously) that my cardio capacity is complete garbage and more than 10-15 min of walking is affecting my low back. This is no surprise. At least I know now where I’m starting. At the beginning. Although, its not the complete beginning because I’ve been here before and I remember some shit from previous attempts that will be helpful and useful. Once I was done with the 30 minute walk, I decided to do a little strength work on the machines, which Id been itching to do anyway. Put the headphones on, Ronnie Coleman screaming in my ear, and went to work. Wasnt heavy, but felt good. Felt right.
“Everyone want to be a bodybuilder but dont no one want to lift no heavy ass weight.” Starting to get the itch to lift seriously again. Yeah, buddy!
So what is this? Thinking out loud, I guess. Holding myself accountable for what is. Who to? Besides myself, I’m not sure I care right now. Right now, I need to control what I can and make positive choices. I can choose what I eat and drink. I can choose to go to the gym or to go take a walk or to ride the bike in my living room. Or I can choose to sit in my chair like a fat fuck and not do any of those things. I’m not doing that.
How do I get where I want/need to be? First, I guess I need to understand where I want to go. Long term, I need to be at least 100 lbs lighter than I am now. Carrying around all of this extra weight isn’t doing me any favors. Skinniest I ever was as an adult was 179 (lbs) back in 2013ish. I have pictures, but appearance wise, meh. Best I felt was around 215 in 2014-2015. When I started going back to the gym regularly a few years ago, I was 290 and made it down to 275. Probably the hardest I’ve ever trained in my life and had a blast doing it. Currently, I’m 320 (was 325 on Monday) according to my scale. I’ve been on 4 different scales this week and the variance in the scales is ridiculous (one had me as heavy as 335). For the sake of consistency, I’m using mine. Short term immediate goal – I’d like to get back under 300 lbs sometime in the next six or so months (saying summer).
I tend to watch a lot of stuff on the internet these days related to fitness and health. Of course, tis the season for new year, new me bs, so diets and gym memberships are on the uptick. Which diet is best? Which exercise program works best? Results vary, but I think the most common answer I see is – All of them, IF you do them consistently. Consistency. This is where I want and ultimately, where I feel I need to live. Consistent, simple routine that I know I can execute on.
Let’s talk goals for the weekend and the upcoming week. 2nd full week of 2025. Developing the routine. The reality for us plebes is that we work for a living and don’t have the luxury of having infinite amounts of time to spend or infinite amounts of money to spend on food services and such. Right now, diet is paramount. and to execute on that, Im going to need to go to the grocery store. Personally, I hate going without a list. And its easier when there’s a plan in place, because then you only buy what you need. Additionally, I have a freezer and cupboards full of stuff right now that I havent touched that need to be gone through. So I think I’ll be planning based on eating out of my current stock. This is mostly meats and some canned veggies. Obviously fresher is better, but canned stuff is inexpensive and still better. Tomorrow’s goal before the end of the day (realistically before I spend half the day at a wedding) is to have a meal plan written down for all seven days. Simple is better, but for me, there needs to be flavor. I cant stand bland food. Sunday is meal prep day. Cook enough ahead where putting together a meal is just simple and can be heated in the microwave in a few minutes. Activity, every day.
I am terrible about taking the time to stretch lately. I need to write down a plan for this. Write it down. I’ve gone back and forth with the DDP Yoga subscription and when I used it consistently, I was much more flexible. I respect the hell out of what DDP does so why am I so resistent. I do need a new mat though, because these floors suck.
Im channeling my inner Ronnie Coleman right now and eating chicken with BBQ sauce.
Activity, believe it or not, seems like the easiest part. The plan is simple. Walk, stationary bike, or go to the gym. Plan is Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Nothing highly intense at the moment. Days off will be either walking or stationary bike.
Maybe I’ll get the itch and start posting recipes. Who knows?